{non-fiction} Calm down little girl

Seriously? It's just one message after another. I really don't know what the heck is happening anymore. I don't know what the heck is happening because he won't talk to me about it while you simply leave messages that I can't really answer because I don't know what the hell is happening between the two of you. I have a vague idea of why I got involved in this situation but I really don't see a reason for you to relate everything that is happening to my existence.

I really don't see why any of this is my fault so I don't get why you hate me so much because of everything that is happening. I understand why you feel jealous, it's because he talks to me a lot and there are things he can easily talk to me with that he can't with you. You might be blaming me for your break up, thinking that the reason why you guys broke up is because of me, when will you understand that that's not the case. You guys didn't break up because I entered the picture, even with me around he still loves you.

How can I be happy about any of this? How can you say something like that? As I said, I don't know what the heck is happening but from what you sent me I could sense that your hurt. 

You're saying that I know him better than anyone else, that I'm the one closest to him. But that's not true. I don't know him as well as you do. He spends more time with you than he does with me. Heck I feel that when it all comes down to it he'll choose you over me so you don't really have to worry about anything.

I understand that your hurt but you should know that you're not the only one. Have you even thought about how all these are hurting him? Heck I'm not even going to ask you if you ever thought about how your words might hurt me because it doesn't really matter, I'm not the one who gets really hurt here. And it's not you, it's him. If anyone getting really hurt about all this it's him. Have you ever thought about that?

You told me you love him, if you do then why not put a little trust along with it. Because if you don't trust him, even a little, all of these are going nowhere. No matter how much the situation is explained to you if you already closed your mind about it then it's just effort wasted.

I'm not writing this for you, I only write for important people in my life. I'm writing this for me. I need to get this out of my system. I chose a public site where no one know who I am. If I were to rant this out on my Facebook page that will just worry my friends. So I chose to do this here on my blog. 

I'm sorry. I don't know if I'm saying too much. I really don't know. I don't think you'll even accept an apology from me, I don't even know why I keep apologizing to you.